You Are Exactly Where You Are Supposed To Be
Instead of chasing the next thing, chase this
In 2021 we moved to a small village with about three thousand people. After living in different cities for the past ten years, sometimes next to people with the urge to fight, shout, party or drink excessively — or all this simultaneously — I believe we finally deserved some good neighbors. They are hard-working, honest people, always ready to help, and despite coming to a small, closed community, they were welcoming.
We work remotely, just as we used to before moving here, and we don’t make a lot of noise, given that we both love peace, which is the primary reason why we moved from the city.
Last winter, we were soo cozy inside that the guy next door thought we were traveling somewhere for weeks. He was surprised when we told him it was simply just too cold outside.
Needless to say, we’re having a blast in this small community — if reading in your hammock in your yard and waking up to birds equals having a blast for you, of course.
So our friend invited us to a garden party at their new home the other weekend. While talking about the communities where we settled, he threw this nugget of wisdom:
If you don’t know who’s the lousiest neighbor in your street, you’re
I never thought about who would be the lousiest neighbor in our street, so what I heard from my friend kept me occupied for a long time.
What if it’s us?
I occasionally watch psychology videos on YouTube because they make me think like nothing else. I recently watched Become Who You’re Afraid To Be.
In Jungian psychology, there’s the concept of a shadow — a thing you’re running from and refuse to accept — your repressed personality. According to this theory, you won’t reach your full potential until you learn to embrace and integrate the shadow into your life.
I was thinking deeply about what my shadow personality could be, but I had no answers. Of course, there’s a plethora of personalities I’m knowingly avoiding, but I don’t think the two groups are the same. One is becoming a guru of some kind that, based on some infinite pyramid games, eventually builds up a business. Providing legit help at all times is something I’m not willing to sacrifice. Help not for the sake of my growth but for the growth of others.
Until I watched this video, I never thought about the concept of this shadow personality, but it kept me thinking.
What if I find it, and it unlocks some hidden potential in me?
In 2020 the size of the self-help industry in the US was $11.2b. It is expected to grow, and growth is fuelled like crazy with the help of social media.
We’re constantly being reminded we could do more.
We could optimize our time better and squeeze out 5% more productivity.
We lack certain abilities.
We need to find our purpose.
You could download this app with a premium subscription to finally get in shape before the summer or subscribe to this email marketing course and make an additional $1000 Per Day you can spend on your vacation. All this, from your bed.
Social media is great at amplifying our wants and needs, which keeps the self-help system running. Do you want:
- Money? Twitter Growth Bros got you covered. Send one email in the morning and make $5000 the rest of the day.
- Attention and fame? Dancing to TikTok trends and capturing attention for the sake of attention. Algorithms made us dance before we started fantasizing about ”what if they gain control”.
Some industries blew up simply because of our inability to understand we’re the products.
Growth hackers — the modern-day pyramid scheme — is the finest example of this. There’s always someone behind you, and until they keep you thinking you can be where they are, they are winning.
Until my friend planted this seed of the lousiest neighbor in my head, I didn’t think about this at all.
Until I saw you could make $5000 a day by sending an email, I didn’t think how I could do it too.
What if there’s no shadow you should try to become, no ideal shape or monthly side-hustle revenue target you should hit right now?
What if what you’re doing eventually leads to where you desire to be anyway.
I like to remind myself of a great quote from Alan Watts. It’s called The Dream of Life.
Let’s embrace for a moment who we are instead of thinking about who we should become.
When I’m writing, I’m doing exactly that.
